Week Two: Normalization, Shuffling Feet, and Stupid Games

Weekly novel for your distraction.

01.09.2007
7:45 pm

What's remarkable is how fast it normalizes. At first I couldn't help but notice how Asian everyone was, how Korean everyone was. Little Korean children sucking on little pacifiers, Korean teenagers bustling around downtown in parkas and sneakers, poor old Korean men endlessly pushing carts stacked high with cardboard up hills, sharp dressed suit and tie Koreans, all business all the time. At first I couldn't help but notice. All black eyes all black hair. But it fades. And I forget that I'm the only white person in the restaurant. And people become people again. Just people.

I think there is something emanating from people. At first you don't see it. You just see their face and their eyes, noses, and mouths. And you notice how they are the same or different. But then you don't notice it anymore. You just see a whole. And the whole is totally different than the sum of the parts.

We're not really seen as real teachers here. We're more for show, I think. Thus the kids don't show us the same respect that they show our Korean counterparts. David pointed out that that's because we're not real teachers. Seriously. I've never taught a day in my life before this. I never taught a Sunday School or a soccer team. Heck I've never even held a leadership position before. So no I'm not a real teacher, not by training or experience anyway. But still, I step into the room and stand before 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 students. And somehow, for the next forty minutes, I have to figure out how to get them to listen to me. I have to help them remember things. And I have to get them to care. I have to do this for the sake of some kind of stupid Deadpoetssociety ideal, for their parents (who pay a lot of money), for the kids (who may one day, long from now, actually care), and I have to do it to maintain my own sanity.

Everything becomes utilitarian.

If it works, do it.

If it doesn't. Don't.

It's like one great big human psychology experiment.

(Some Food Side Notes: Yesterday I bought some fish jerky. Bones, skin, tails and all (no heads though). Actually I kinda like it. And I had some Korean BBQ. It was great. And only cost about $4.50. On the streets, farmers sell fresh produce.)



01.10.07
9:05 pm

it's been said that koreans shuffle on, eyes down at their feet, paying no heed to those around them. mind focused on the destination. i heard that they even, in their rush, will bump into others and not notice, but keep right on marching.

i don't know if this is true or not. but i was reminded of this stereotype tonight. on my way home from work. i was reminded by the quick one two of my shuffling feet. i was reminded by the blur of sidewalk brick. i was reminded by the music inserted in my ears.

i was simply tired and hungry. and i wanted to get home before my food got cold.

but then i stopped, i slowed my pace, i looked up. and i saw an angry cat who, ears slicked back, meowed a sickening meow, i saw three young boys sitting outside playing the arcade (faces lit by the flickering screen), i ran my fingers over faded korean letters on an old faded sign, i saw two toddlers with furry caps covering their ears.

And when I got home, I ate a cold dinner.

(On a side note, I finished the last episode of Firefly. I am sad. I may start over and watch the whole series again. I can't believe Fox canceled the show. Morons. Now I want to watch the movie again. But... I left it at home.)


01.11.2007
7:38 pm

there are two types of students i think: those that enjoy stupid games, and those that don't. i think i spent a good amount of my life in the latter category. being a fairly high-minded child, i discovered early the stupidity of stupid games. i refused to take part in such stupidity. i failed however to recognize the purpose of the stupid games. the function and utility of stupid games. and it wasn't until much later that i realized (am realizing) that from a certain perspective most (all?) actions can be described as a stupid game.

i am learning that high-minded adult pursuits are simply reflections of stupid children's games and vice versa. it's a procession of mirrors leading back and back down the hallway into our deepest consciousness. back and back until the hall dead ends, and in the dim light there is a solid wall riddled with holes. and there are a thousand hands with a thousand corks trying to plug the holes before the rains come and flood the dams.

A Brief(ish) Summarization of a Whirlwind

it's difficult to sit down and try to summarize all that has happened in the week that i've been in daegu. since school started, i haven't been bored for a moment. january is winter vacation in Korea. which means that the kids take extra classes. that's right, on vacation months, they go to school more. normally we have classes every afternoon from like 2-8 or something. but during intensive months, we have classes in the morning too. a couple of teachers are teaching 10 hours a day. i'm not teaching quite that much.

my apartment:



when i arrived at my apartment last week there wasn't a tv, a phone, or a washer. and the gas stovetop was barely working. yesterday i was pleasantly surprised to find that all that had been mended. except the stovetop, which they left in the box on the floor. my attempts to remove the old one, have thus far proved futile. i have managed to do little more than mangle the gas hose with a kitchen knife, a pair of pliers, and my house key. i bought a swiss army knife in switzerland this summer but, i left it at home.

other items that i have been supplied by either the school or the previous teacher/tenant: bookshelf, double bed, wardrobe, broken christmas tree, minifridge, old bar of soap, two forks, one knife, 6 metal chopsticks (in korea all the chopsticks are metal), a dinner table, four chairs (why do i need four chairs?), a toaster oven, a rice maker, four mugs, and some modest cooking utensils.

it's meager to be certain, but adequate.

there is no separation between the shower and the rest of the bathroom. and the washer drains out onto the floor.

the weather:
oh my the weather has been beautiful. even though i haven't been outside much in the past week. nice, brisk, jacket weather kind of cold. it's been great. the first day was freezing, but since then it's been wonderful.

the food:
korean food. it's good, but not great. i like it, but i don't love it. but it is cheap. if there is one thing that is cheap here it's the food (and the alcohol). you can buy two rolls of kimbap (sorta like sushi, but with more vegetables) for around $2. and that's a pretty decent (and healthy) lunch. if you want to splurge and eat out at a restaurant, you'll probably spend between $5-$8. also they make green tea flavored everything. there's even a green tea flavored Kellogg's cereal.

the classes:
i think when i signed my contract i was kinda thinking: no big deal i'll just go in and talk to kids in english for forty minutes and that will be class. i mean, how else could they justify hiring a foreigner with no experience to come over and teach? but during orientation i began to realize that it was a little more serious than that. i was really expected to be a bonafide teacher. wearing ties, and preparing lessons, and making teaching supplements.

so in two days in seoul i was taught how to be a teacher. then i was shipped off to daegu. where i was handed a bunch of books, and given a schedule of classes. since then, it's been such a whirlwind, i haven't had any time to reflect on anything. i think it's going pretty well. ok at least. i'm learning a lot. it's wild being a teacher, having that kind of power (even though i don't really have much power, we don't even really give the kids grades since this is an after-school school). all those things i used to think was stupid when my teachers did them, i'm doing. anything to get the kids to listen and obey.

so i write Xs and checks on the board by their names. and we play stupid games. sometimes i feel like Mrs. Croft, my high school spanish teacher. I say the same things over and over, and ask the students to repeat. now and then i fall into Mrs. Croft mode so deep I accidently say things like muy excellente. I also find myself trying to remember what Mr. Evan's, my high school physics teacher (and probably my favorite teacher of all time) used to do. So I change my voice randomly, and speak in outrageous accents.

every decision is really spur of the moment. how fast can you think? especially with the really little kids. attention span: 0. do a trick, draw on the board, what's in the bag, dance, sing, look at me, look at me, take that eraser out of your nose. all the while they look at me like "what the fudge are those noises he's making?"

and the junior highers. with boredom branded to their brows. stubborn, like pulling teeth from cows. i finally found something they are interested in, video games. i said, "chris, what kind of video games do you like?" he said, "killing people." i said, "chris, use a complete sentence." "huh?" "say, i like to kill people." this got a laugh. and then he said it. in a complete sentence. so i think all our lessons will now be on violence. and death.

honestly though. i liked it. i enjoyed my first week teaching. in spite of the mania. i have a few classes that i just love. all the kids are on the ball. and seem to be smart and learning. i got a hug on the legs by one of my little kids yesterday when i walked into class. gave me warm fuzzies.

i just hope i can hold up until february.

Sleepless in Seattle and Two Day's Gone By

Oh boy! I found free internet! Sleepless in Seattle coffee shop just down the street from my apt. So here I am, nibbling on a piece of mocha moose cake and surfing the net. I've been super busy since classes started. As in getting up at 7 to prepare lessons getting off work at 8 going home and preparing lessons 9and watching an episode of Firefly). That sounds really bad, but for it's really not. Probably because A) I'm still new and not yet cynical, and B) I don't have any internet or TV to waste my free time. Soon I'll write in more detail about what has been going on. But here are some old entries I've been wanting to post:

01.03.07

today i made a boy cry. i gave him an X by his name. i felt very bad.

today i named a boy "bruce".

today hannah told me that the kids like me.

today i built a gundam.

soon i will tell you about my room.

soon i will tell you about my school.


12.29.06
19:54

I was standing there. Gripping the flimsy handle on that 70 pound behemoth of a suitcase. Two bags slung around my toothpick neck and a bulging backpack hanging from my shoulders. I was standing there above what was definitely not an escalator, what was definitely a three flight descent. There's my train, departing in 10 minutes. And there's me, looking around with what must have been a desperate expression. Like a dog who wrapped his legs in his own leash. I must have looked pitiful. People were passing by leaping down two steps at a time. A man noticed. Looked at my suitcase. Then at me. Then at my suitcase. And without a word he bent down and lifted one end. We began the descent. "Gamsa hamnida." I said with a slight bow. Another man, whose face I never even saw, reached in and lifted some of the burden. "Gamsa hamnida," I repeated, "Thank you very much, thank you." Neither men ever responded. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, they returned again into the rushing human river.



Sitting and typing now aboard the KTX bullet train (one of the fastest in the world). My school was kind enough to book me business class from Seoul to Dong Daegu. It must be fast. But it's too dark outside to tell. The only sound is a quiet whir. Like a strong wind blowing through a crack in the rafters two stories up.

There is a bird documentary on the TV screens.



To celebrate the weekend Katrina, David, and I have purchased a couple bottles of Soju (like sake, boy the stuff is cheap) and rented a few movies. We are, alas, too tired to do celebrating any real justice.

Some new pix on flickr.

3 All Star Teachers and Me

Orientation. Learning all about teaching. I confess, after sitting and watching three dynamic teachers get up and present lessons (they were so good, they got me excited about the lessons(I tied Chris with the most stars during the last lecture)), I can't help but fear that perhaps my kids won't like me. Being not-so-high-energy as I am. Maybe if I drink a lot of coffee...

But I'm not terribly afraid. I mean I won't lose any sleep over it. In fact I'm suddenly very heavy eyed. But I think we're going out on the town. The other teachers and I. One Canadian, one Kiwi, and another American. I don't want to be out too late.

Korean food round 2: Meat in soup. Delicious. Perhaps I enjoyed it too much. One of the orientation leaders commented afterward about how much I enjoyed it. Hey, it was good.

Day 0 in Korea: Arrive without Warning

I meant to give some warning. A pre-departure letter. An explanation. A description of those last thoughts. A list of the last foods, people, and places i'll see for a year. but as life an laziness would have it, i ran out of time. i also ran out of time to redesign this page. one day.

the wonderful thing about travel is that i could already write a novella on all the little things that have happened to me, about me, and its only been one day. i've only just arrived. it's only just begun. this is the introduction. no not even. this is the prologue.

the packing, the agonizing over what to bring and what to leave behind, the goodbyes, the rounds of hugs, the 70 pound suitcase, (1) the little chinese man on the flight, the korean girl from tcu, the unexpected joy of borrowing a stranger's cell phone (twice), the seven sneezes immediately after breathing the air, (2) arriving at the lotte hotel, (4) sam lee, (3) arriving at the samsung motel, $2 dinner.

(1) I sat beside a little chinese man. i didn't know he was chinese at the time, i assumed he was korean like everyone else on the flight besides me and a couple military boys. i was contemplating trying to gleen some useful phrases from him. it was after all a 15 hour flight, it might help to make a friend. i was about to start watching monty python on my ipod, when the little man reached out and handed me one of the orange gummies he was eating. i thanked him and ate it. smiling more out of appreciation than enjoyment. this act, i soon realized, was a contract, now it was my turn to pay him back. he pointed to the little seafoam green pouch they had handed out. and pointed to his plastic grocery bag containing his candies. speaking in a very very foreign tongue. i think he was asking if he could keep it, so i nodded. 'it's free' i said.



that's how our clumsy and amusing 15 hour friendship began. by the time we landed, we had written each other illegible notes (does anyone out there read chinese?), exchanged small gifts (jelly beans, an album leaf pin), and given one another brief language lessons (i retained nothing). most of the flight he stared out the window. the entire flight actually. now and again he would nudge and say something, excitedely pointing at the tv screen, and then out the window, i would smile and nod, having no idea what he was going on about.

have you ever seen those posters where the chinese wear the tan sweater and teh red shirt underneath? that's exactly what he was wearing.

(2) i have to catch the airport bus into seoul. i'm supposed to get off at the lotte hotel. i step out into a glittering, spacious lobby. a porter quickly seizes my luggage and tells me to check in. i nod, looking around for sam lee, my contact. i have no idea what he looks like. maybe that's him sitting there, young, hip, but he doesn't stir. maybe not. at the front desk: "no sam lee here." so i ask the man to call him. i have his number. behind me a phone rings and the hip young man stands up. aha, sam lee after all. "this isn't where you'll be staying," he whispers, "i told him we're staying here tomorrow, that's why he's being so nice, but that's not true."

(3) samsung motel is the kind of back alley place that teens rent out by the hour on promnight. ok, maybe not that bad. it is clean and quiet and heated and has internet. there is also a half used tube of toothpaste and a almost new bar of soap in the bathroom. but different country, different customs. really i have no complaints. i'll just have to get used to the dim neon tube lighting in the hall.

(4) sam is a cool guy. and friendly. i suppose it is his job to be in town at 9 pm to meet me as i get in from the airport, but i can't help but feel grateful. he gives me a brief rundown of the block, takes me to a little place to get bimbap (sp) or korean sushi. he's from denver. a year or two older than me. he'll be leading the training tomorrow.


i could write more, like how at first glance seoul didn't seem to be much different from western cities. same green highway signs. red yellow green lights. blase high rise apartments. but inside it's a bit more overwhelming. at night. bright lights everywhere, street vendors selling little bits of meat on wooden sticks. people everywhere. the earth's slow spinning on its tilted axis disorienting me. the lights blur as my mind tries to bridge the 9 hour time gap. it's 10:41 here, so it's almost 8 back home. i should probabably get some sleep.