Happy Thanksgiving

Geez. How long have I been here? November is already coming to a close. That's nearly eleven months. I've developed a curious classroom voice. A teaching voice. The kind of voice I used to mock, that insincere actor's voice one assumes on the stage. I think everyone gets it. I don't know when it happened, but it did. One day you realize that you aren't just pretending anymore. You aren't watching yourself teach, you just are. You are the teacher, for better or worse. This became painfully clear yesterday, when a new teacher sat in on my class. Suddenly I was watching myself again through her eyes. Suddenly I was aware of myself again. Can I say that? Do this? Is this silly, worthless, , useful, harmful? I flushed with embarrassment. How strange after 11 months of this to suddenly get self conscious.

Sometimes it takes me 15-20 minutes to bring to mind a particular word. It only occurs to me long after its relevance has dissipated. For expedience sake I tend to use short three or four letter words like good, bad. Skip those long dictionary words. The kids and Koreans wont understand anyway. So my thoughts slide rapidly along this narrow channel, until I try to communicate or write specific thoughts, feelings, expressions. I slouch, mouth agape, scratching my head like a drooling dunce. "Buhduhbuhduhbuhduh, it is goooooood."

This Thanksgiving I'll eat enchiladas at The Holy Grille. A Canadian owned restaurant downtown. When you stuff you face with turkey, giblets, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, corn bread, ham, cranberry sauce, and whatever else you get your mitts on, think of me alone on this foreign peninsula and stuff your face some more. And be thankful for it. And go Cowboys!!